How To Be Better At Online Dating
Dating is hard whether it's offline or online. When it comes to online dating, it can be a minefield trying to figure out what to write in a profile, how to start a conversation with a new match or even which platform to use. Oftentimes, there are unwritten rules that determine whether you get a match or not. With dating apps becoming the most popular way to meet a spouse (nearly one in four couples meet this way), here are our tips on how to be better at online dating.
Choose the best platform for you
If it’s your first time dating online or you’re coming back to it after taking a break, it can be overwhelming to know where to start. With over 5,000 dating sites and apps worldwide, how do you know which one to start with first. Begin by choosing a platform, whether it’s an app or a website, that you’ve heard about or have been recommended by a friend to try out. If you’re looking for something casual and want to see what the online dating sphere looks like, you can start with Tinder. If you’re looking for something serious, relationship based apps like Hinge and Bumble could be good for you. If you’re wary of going it alone and want to have some friends help you along the way, Wingman could be the option for you.
The key is to choose ONE to start with and see how you get on. It can be tempting to download several apps to increase the number of matches you get but it will become hard to respond to several different people on different platforms. Choose one platform and try it out for a month. If you’re not getting the results you want, you can try another one, the important thing is to give it time. Expecting loads of matches on the first day after signing up can be unrealistic. However, if you’ve been using the app for a month and barely get a match, it might be worth trying out another to see if you get better results. If you’re getting similar results across several apps, it’s a sign to check your profile.
Make your profile a reflection of you
Your profile is one of the most important parts of online dating. It tells a potential match who you are and what you’re looking for. Putting little effort into the bio and relying on pictures is not going to cut it. And vice versa. Not getting any matches? Try checking the following tips to boost your profile.
Best Online Dating Profile Tips
- Have at least one picture with you alone
- Avoid uploading group photos
- Upload photos with natural lighting and less filters
- Make sure your face can be seen clearly and it’s not blurry
- Have one photo where you’re smiling
- A mixture of indoor and outdoor photos
- Avoid writing like and dislike lists
- Be real but not too personal
- Share your favourite music,food, films
- How would your friends describe you
- Keep it mid-length - not too long or too short
Once you’re happy with how your profile looks, it’s always worth getting a second opinion from someone you trust. They can suggest some changes that you may have overlooked but in the end, it’s your decision and you should be comfortable with what you put up.
How to know when to match with someone
While you’re browsing through the profiles, it can be easy to swipe right or say “Interested” to everyone based on their pictures but what if you’re missing out on someone great who has the best bio. You should aim to read their full profile and if there’s at least one thing on there that piques your interest, they could be worth a match. Also keep logistics in mind for example, if you’re not interested in a long distance relationship, pay attention to where your matches are located and adjust your settings to see profiles closer to you. With millenials spending 10 hours a week on dating apps, it’s easy to get carried away with mindless swiping. This is a fast way to lose your motivation in dating but if you take a mindful approach and treat it less like a competition (which it sometimes feels like), your chances of getting a meaningful match will be higher.
How to start a conversation after you get a match
You’ve matched with someone and you’re ready to start talking to them. Under pressure, you go with the safe option of “Hey.” And you never hear back. This is where you’re going wrong, chances are you’ve been booted to their “Hey” list where they have several matches all with the same conversation starter. To be noticeable from the rest, you need to make that first message count. Here are 10 alternative opening lines to try. Why not ask them something you noticed on their profile? E.G. I noticed on your profile, you liked _______, that sounds fun, what do you think about ____? Asking an open ended question can foster a conversation to flow more easily between you both.
What happens if our communication fades
You exchange a few messages and then...nothing. Unfortunately this means you have been ghosted. Just like a ghost, they have disappeared without an explanation or closure and you’re left wondering why. The best way to deal with ghosting is to move on. Holding out hope that they will eventually return that message or get back in contact if you wait longer is just setting you up for failure. Move your attention to someone who will value your time and energy. Of course, life can get in the way sometimes and it could be they’ve really not had the time to check in. A good rule is to wait a week to see if they respond, if not, then it’s a sign to keep searching.
Make a consistent effort
Like everything else, dating requires time and effort and it’s ok to take a break. If you’re matching with people and it’s leading to nowhere or you’re not getting matches at all, it’s ok to take a break from online dating. Dating fatigue as it’s commonly known can drown out your motivation to date. It may be a good time to hand over the reins to someone you trust, like your friends or a sibling with Wingman. Be notified only when there’s a match taking away the stress of searching.
General online dating tips
- Avoid catfishing - There’s no filters in real life so show off the real you so there’s no disappointment later.
- Don’t exchange money - Any match you haven’t met face - face yet that asks you for money is most likely a scammer. Check out this list for more tips on how to avoid scammers in online dating.
- Read a person’s full bio before you say yes/no - you could be missing out on a great match!
- Date comfortably - Choose a way that works for you and don’t settle
Sign up now with your wingman by downloading the Wingman app in the App store and Google Play store. Available in the US and UK for IOS and Android devices.