My Friend Is A Pro At Dating. I Am Not. Here's What I Learnt...
Some people are just cut out for dating. Others not so much.
My friend Kim makes dating look easier than my nights in with Netflix. She has mastered the art of banishing ghosters, sussing out catfishes and cutting out dead-end conversations. I, on the other hand, am still hoping that my match from 3 weeks ago will reply back… one day.
As a seasoned expert, I asked Kim to give us her 5 top tips:
Make the first approach
The confusing rules of dating prohibit most of us from behaving how we normally would. Should I message first or wait for them too? “As soon as I get a match, I start the conversation, whether I’m first or not,” says Kim. “I swiped right on them as well, so it shouldn’t matter who starts off the conversation. What I can’t stand is when the opening line is just a Hey. It’s a conversation stopper. They’ll likely reply back with Hey as well and then it just stops." Be better than “Hey”, people, here are some better opening lines.
Forgive and forget
My number one irk of dating has to be the gradual dissolve of communication. “Don’t hold a grudge,” says Kim. “If they were really meant to be in your life, they would still be in it.” How long should you wait to say they’re probably not worth it? “I would say if they haven’t replied to your message in 3 days, it’s time for you to move on…no matter how hot they are!” says Kim.
Bios are your friend
“If you want to find out whether a person you matched with simply swiped yes on you based on your photos or actually read your bio, you should plant a small detail in your profile,” says Kim. “I usually put a line that says “Ask me about the time I had a standoff with a pigeon”. If they mention it in our opening chat, then I know they’re worth getting to know.”
“I only swipe right on a profile after I’ve read their full bio and seen all their pictures,” says Kim. “Sometimes our rose-tinted glasses can prevent us from seeing the red flags that are clearly there, so if you can prevent it by looking closely, I’d say it’s worth it.”
Cut it off
The struggle to end a conversation with someone politely is, REAL. “If you truly don’t think it’s going anywhere, then end it head on - be kind but clear,” says Kim. “It should hopefully end with one message and not with several back and forth apologies.” Wish them good luck in their search and move on. Second swipe regrets are real y’all!
Pay attention to your conversations
“If they don’t try to find out more about you and it’s always about them, then it could be a sign they’re not after anything serious,” says Kim. Dating is about getting to know one another, not just yourself. So, what about when it comes to meeting in real life?
“If we’ve been chatting for over a week, then I bring up the “we should meet up” chat," says Kim. If they avoid it, that usually gets my guard up and feels like they’re hiding something.” Have you ever been catfished before? “I think everyone has at some point. I went on first date with a guy who clearly lied about how old he was in his profile and then failed to mention until the end, that he was in the middle of a messy divorce!”.
Happy dating everyone!
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