An Open Letter To My Single Friend

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I love you but we need to talk...

Dear Single Friend,

How did we become friends again? Ah…that’s right. We clicked instantly over our distain for slow walking pedestrians but truly bonded over our shared love of chicken nuggets. From defining career choices to bad break ups, we’ve been there for each other, usually with tequila on hand. A decade old friendship like ours means I’ve learnt a lot about you when it comes to dating. Here’s my take: 

1.    Save the chat about your deep love of cheese and Matthew McConaughey for the second or third date. As a friend, I love hearing your cheddar based jokes as much as the next person but even I know asking if you’re ‘Having a gouda time’ after each course is a little repetitive.

2.    Our text debriefs after your dates, GIVES ME LIFE! Not just because I vicariously live through you as we’re practically the same person obvs, but hearing about whether you’ve potentially met the love of your life or another ‘not meant to be’ is something I do not take for granted in our friendship. May our 2am conversations continue (although telling me about it at a reasonable hour is also optional).

3.    Let’s be real – you have no time for F*ckboys – If they’re looking for a chase, tell them to get a dog. You are a woman who deserves a man who’ll be honest with you. Honest about whether they want to see where things go or whether the connection just isn’t there. Don’t let them influence how you would view your future relationships. 

4.    Let me be your matchmaker. I know you’re all about the connection, but you ain’t no free Wi-Fi, stop connecting to guys automatically! For the sake of your heart, it may be worth handing over the power of the swipe to…ahem…me? We always joke about whether I could do a better job at setting you up so it may be time for me to play matchmaker. I promise to try and find you a cheese loving smart talker who is willing to watch The Wedding Planner with you for the 20thtime. 

5.     Finally - please take care of your heart – You and I both know, your heart doesn’t break easy but I wouldn’t be your bestie if I didn’t know, under all that sass and positive mental attitude, there’s a person who just wants to be loved.

Thanks for being a good human and even better best friend. I hope our friendship continues to evolve and promise to be each other’s wingman until we eventually find ‘the one’. 

Until then, this week’s pizza night is on me x

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Photo by Sam Manns on Unsplash