What Their Communication Style Really Means...

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Our relationship expert, Dr Pam Spurr (on Twitter @drpamspurr) explains the revealing signs to look out for in the way they talk.

Don’t underestimate how much information you can get about that new person you’re seeing from the way they message and talk on FaceTime or the phone.

Here are a few things to watch out for, first in how they message and what that reveals 

Are they vague in messages? If they don’t want to pin down a specific date, if they don’t give you any personal info, etc., it might reveal they’re not that interested. And they might be messaging you because you’re their only option.

Are they concise? They’re interested and reliable and they want to give you relevant info to move things along between you. But if they lack flirtation, they might need some flirtatiousness coaxed out of them.

Are they flirty? They want to have fun, they’re enjoying being in touch with you, it’s all good. They may not be that serious but at this point they want to keep in touch.

Are they overtly sexual? No matter what you hope – like you hope they really want to be with you, that they’re ‘the one’, etc. – it’s probably a sex thing they’re feeling.

Their phone calls speak volumes –

As things get started, you’ll probably message a lot but when you talk on FaceTime/phone here are top signals to listen/watch for: 

Do they keep it brief and to the point but you don’t feel they mean to ‘withhold’ from you?

This can have a number of meanings – they could be uncomfortable on the phone, revealing some shyness. Or they simply prefer good chats when they are with you, or they like to save the best for when they're with you! 

Do they hang on the phone chatting to you about anything and everything? You’ve got a soppy one there, a real romantic at heart. If you want something serious, they might be a good, long-term bet. As long as they’re not too over eager. That can signal a bit of desperation and that can be a bit of a turnoff. 

Are their convos all about flirting and sexual innuendo? One of two things – they could be a real player and highly sexed. Can be wise to exercise a little caution about rushing into things unless you want a hot sexual fling only. Or sometimes too much innuendo reveals that they feel a bit insecure and lots of flirting is a way that they cover this. 

They stay on the phone long enough to have a good convo but doesn’t overplay it? They could be a good all-rounder, they probably have good levels of confidence, and they see you as a whole person and not a ‘sex object’.

Ultimately, no matter what their phone or messaging style, what’s most important is do they talk-the-talk but also walk-the-walk? Are they reliable, do they care about your feelings? A quick way to judge that is the phone-call test. If they say they’ll call you tomorrow, do they? Or do they call a few days later and don’t think anything twice about it?

Look after yourself, watch these things and happy dating!

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Follow Dr Pam Spurr on Twitter @drpamspurr and on Instagram @drpamspurr

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