What He Says About Other Women And What It Says About Him As A Potential Partner
Guest Author and Sex and Relationship expert, Dr Pam Spurr, tells us the signs that reveal what he's really like.
If you’re single and dating, or maybe just met someone, there are so many signals a man gives off about what he’s really like. One of the biggest - revealing so much about what he’ll be like as a partner - is how he talks about other women (besides his mother - that’s a separate blog of its own!).
But often, we women aren’t clued up about this. I’ve interviewed many single men and women as a date coach, on radio and for my books and I started looking for unique ways to decide whether or not he’s worth going out with.
The Test:
It’s quite easy, pay attention to what he says about actresses when you see a film with him or are cuddling up on the sofa for a night of TV together. His casual remarks actually give you insight into his partner-potential.
Take note of these three classic things you should watch for:
*He says things like: What a body on her, she’s so hot, etc.
These reveal he might be a player, feels he has to prove himself by turning anything about women into sexual comments, and he might view women as sex objects. Same thing if he says such things about female colleagues.
*He makes remarks like: She's such a great actress, her character was so believable, etc.
It reveals he’s thoughtful and not worried about proving himself. Same again if he says things about female colleagues being great or supportive rather than about their physical attributes.
*He criticises things: Negative comments about the actress’s bodies or completely ignores the role they played in the film/on TV.
Essentially he’s saying the women aren’t as important as the men. Again, if he constantly criticises female colleagues you can bet one day he’ll be criticising you.
Also definitely be aware of the man who criticises your all-important friends – the sisterhood. A clear sign he wants to undermine you.
How to handle it when he reveals he doesn’t have the best partner-potential but you still like him
*Let’s say you’ve only had a couple dates and he mentions the hot actress in the film you’ve just seen together. It might be insecurities talking because he feels he has to act the “manly man” who’s interested in “babes”. Casually say something like, “I love the way the lead actress really got into the role. She was so believable.” You might find he actually starts having a conversation about the film that’s not all about how the actress looked.
If he goes on again about her amazing body, give him a taste of his own medicine and say something like, “The lead actor was so hot too!” He might just get the message.
*What if he’s very critical of other women like those in films or who he works with? Get confident about it, pull him up, and says things like, “She can’t be that bad. What are her good qualities?”
He might get the hint that you don’t like to hear loads of negativity. Sometimes men (and women) just need the right nudge and they realise how critical and negative they sound.
Or you might find out he’s just very negative about women and it’s a good idea to steer clear of him.
Good luck doing the film or TV-test on that new guy! If you’re into him I hope he passes.
Follow Dr Pam Spurr on Twitter @drpamspurr
For more Life and Love advice, visit her website here: http://www.drpam.co.uk/
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Photo by Ajeet Mestry on Unsplash
