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Valentine's Day Tips For New Couples

Our Relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr offers some Valentine's day tips if you’ve just met someone (on Twitter @drpamspurr and at www.drpam.co.uk )

Valentine's Day can be a bit terrifying for new couples. Many of you want to do something romantic but heaven forbid your efforts appear silly.

St. Valentine will be spinning in his 1700 year-old grave if he got wind that singles, just finding their way with someone new, felt anxious in his name.

You probably know the story that his jailer’s blind daughter regained her sight, on hearing his precious note to her. If that doesn’t inspire you, nothing will.

Here are loving tips and sexy yet subtle tricks for very new couples:

Body language of desire – Work that body language to signal desire to a new partner. It’s a myth that everyone jumps in bed on the first, second or third date, so many of you will have held back. If so, and you want to turn up desire between you, run your fingers slowly up and down your cocktail-straw or slowly circle your glass. Or move your fingertips subtly from neckline-to-décolletage - a green-light to their subconscious that'll give them confidence that you want to go to the next level.

Pucker up – Use sensational snogs to ignite desire – they also produce the key bonding hormone oxytocin. Do the ‘medieval necklet’ kiss planting kisses one at a time from behind their ear, around their neckline, around to their other ear. This kiss stimulates nerve endings along these super-sensitive erogenous zones.

Show them the romance - Download or buy a CD of hits from the year they were born. Or give them the DVD of their favourite film (it shows you been listening to them!) or the DVD of one of the top rom-coms or romantic films from their birth-year. You may not have known them long but this is a romantic gesture that can’t go wrong.

And it shows you're happy they were born!

Make a memory - Take some drinks and lovely light-bites to the best beauty spot in town and watch the stars come out tonight. Afterwards you can go for drinks, dinner or back to yours with this romantic-buzz.

Keep it simple – You might’ve already plunged into bed but if not, you might feel nervous slipping between the sheets with a new partner but they feel the same. So definitely don’t worry about exotic techniques! Take it slowly and be gentle with your foreplay. Relax into the moment and just enjoy being with them. ‘Mindful sex’ is the buzzword.

Turn up the heat - It’s time to say how much you’d love to really turn them on. That’s the point to ask them what feels good. Ask if they want a firmer touch or for you to keep it gentle. They might feel inhibited and not ready to actually tell you what works best but don’t take that as a criticism. It’s sad but true that one survey found over 80% of people going to bed together for the first time, feel inhibited about saying what really turns them on. My personal view is if you’re going to share your body you should be able to share what does it for you!

Be playful - New couples need to boost each other’s confidence to let go and being playful helps. Keep the flirting going as things heat up. Tell them how much you’ve lusted after them, how you find them such a turn on, how you’ve fantasized about them. Like how the first time you spotted them at that conference, you fantasized about taking them across the board room table. Keeping it light-hearted and playful is a big turn on.

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