Their Place or Yours for Christmas?

It’s no surprise that dating ‘data’ reveals many new couples who just started dating feel anxious about how to spend their first Christmas together. Relationship research has found that most couples meet during the spring. And other data found that lots meet in the run-up to Christmas, even as near to Christmas as the Christmas party! 

It’s easy to assume that those who have one drunken night after Christmas parties don’t stay together. However, evidently 54% who get together under the mistletoe stay together for many months.  

If you’re in a brand spanking new relationship or met earlier in the year, here are tips to help you negotiate Christmas. 

Couples together since spring/summer:

It’s probably true that you’ve already faced a hurdle or two but Christmas can still test you. 

*The biggest question is where to locate yourselves at Christmas. You might already spend more time at one of your places, usually due to convenience, etc. So it seems logical to put up the Christmas decorations there. 

*However, this can be a problem as the person who always spends time at the other’s place, might feel it’s only fair to have Christmas at theirs.  It could do wonders for your relationship to do that! And if it’s your place you two always stay at, you need to see how this could make them very happy. 

*If there have been some issues over where to spend Christmas make it a trade-off with how you spend New Year’s. Be optimistic and show them you see a future by suggesting that next year you two reverse who chooses Christmas and who chooses New Year’s locations.

*Enter your families because this can complicate things. They probably hope you will spend Christmas at theirs. Optimise your chances of getting things right by choosing a time to chat this through when you’re both relaxed. 

*It’s crucial to keep open-minded and discuss all the potential ways of sharing/splitting time over Christmas. Are your families far-flung? What works best with transport/costs to cover all bases? 

*Please be honest with them about any family pressures you’re under. Can you suggest a trade-off – this year at your parents, next year at theirs? 

*Perhaps you two are incurable romantics who want Christmas to be just the two of you? Let your families know now that you’re making this first Christmas together special and you’ll visit them in that lull before New Year’s.

Shiny new couples:

It’s early days, everything’s so exciting but it’s important to tread carefully over the next couple weeks.

*Let’s be real, just because you think they could be ‘the one’, don’t assume they want to spend Christmas with you. In this initial stage of dating, one of you might feel more strongly for the other. That’s nothing to feel hurt about.

*Get started by asking them open-ended questions: what do you usually do for Christmas? Have you made plans? Realistically if you two have just met they’ve probably made their plans. In that case, definitely suggest some New Year’s Eve fun together.

*If you’re apart at Christmas do plenty of festive flirting over messaging and FaceTime. Keep it light and fun, it’s too soon to say you’re really missing them unless both of you have dived in a 100% to this new situation.

*It’s very likely you’re running on supercharged, sexual chemistry at this initial stage. If you’re thinking you’ll be missing them so much over Christmas, remember absence makes the heart grow fonder. Please remember friends and family still exist! Improve your chances of kicking off 2023 together by avoiding any sort of ‘needy vibe’ to spend every moment with them.

Good luck and happy dating, Pam x

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