Stronger Friendships Makes for Better Dating!
Our relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (On Twitter & Instagram @drpamspurr) gives us her advice on what makes a strong friendship.
I’ve raised friendships for a variety of reasons in previous Wingman columns. And with recent studies, again, finding that strong friendships benefit every area of our lives, I wanted to remind you of some of the things that make for a great friend.
Research has shown that even if you have one or two good friends in your life, it protects your mental health and strengthens all your relationships. These various findings reflect how if you know how to be good friend, undoubtedly you know how to be a good partner.
As a single, either looking for love or looking for a fling, you still do better if you strengthen your friendships. They’re a springboard for many good things including finding love.
Friends and lovers
Might sound odd but think of a friendship as like a romantic relationship but without the romance (obviously). A healthy one needs commitment, care, and good communication - as a romantic one needs. You can't just snap your fingers and expect a friend to come running, you need to give as good as you want to get.
Avoid the ‘fair weather friend’ syndrome
If you're only there when friends are on ‘the up’ and life’s great for them, but you’re nowhere to be seen when they’re troubled, your friendships will never be strong. Anyone can be around in the good times. But it takes a fantastic friend to be there in the bad times as well - like when one of you gets broken-hearted.
Listen and offer a shoulder and support to a friend in need - even if you need to call the new person, you’ve started to see, and tell them you’re running late because of a friend in need.
Cherish your ‘body-shifter’
Body-shifter is an American saying that refers to that one person you could ring in the middle of the night in a nightmare scenario. For instance, many use the very obviously UNLIKELY scenario that your married lover (not that you would have one) has a heart attack and dies in bed with you. These are that rare breed of friend you could call to come help you, who are loyal through and through.
Sing their praises
If you can't be happy for your friends when something good happens to them - like finding a fantastic new job or partner - then it’s time to deal with feelings of envy. These are quite natural but you should always challenge such feelings. Make a point to tell a friend you're happy for their achievements and successes.
You’re not USA TV’s Judge Judy
It’s a wonderful thing when you have close friends who don't judge you when you make a mistake or do something you shouldn't. Heck, everyone else around us judges us, so your friends will appreciate it when you love and support them warts-and-all. Obviously if they’re doing something harmful to themself - or has got entangled with an abusive new partner - you need to be honest.
Good luck and happy dating x
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Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php
