Six Steps For Summer Love Success.
Our relationship expert, Dr Pam Spurr (on Twitter @drpamspurr), shares her tips on how to make the most of this summer when it comes to dating.
Do you love being single and the thought of someone tagged onto your life is so ho-hum? Summer might be a blast for you because one survey found that 70% of those who want to stay single, had the most no-strings fun at this time of year. Although that may be trickier now with social distancing.
But equally true, if you’re looking for love, summer gives you loads of opportunities. Another survey found two-thirds of couples met at this time so don’t let the “new normal” slow you down.
You simply need to spend the rest of the summer with the right mind-set.
Here are six steps for ‘summer-love’ success:
Become a ‘yes person’…for the right reasons!
A lot of people feel like their life has ground to a halt. Now is the time to get your wonderful single-self out there. Say yes to every invitation – from going as someone’s plus-one at a socially distanced summer party, to drinks and barbecues.
It’s too easy to say, “I’m fed up being the only single at events.” When there may well be other singles at these events, so no excuses.
Be yourself…your best possible self
You said yes to that invite and you’re heading to that pub where people are meeting. Don’t feel pressure to be someone you’re not. One study found both men and women are super quick at spotting someone who’s being fake.
So you meet a hot person, you get chatting (at a distance or even in facemasks) don’t pretend to love their favourite hobby. Be interested in it but be honest you don’t spend every Saturday doing what they do but you might be interested in trying it out. Share with them the things you really like doing.
Dump the body image worries
There are many lovely - but also skimpier - summer fashion choices for both men and women. This can be tricky for those people with body image worries. They don’t want to feel less covered up. And don’t believe this only worries women! Plenty of men say they hate wearing shorts because of their legs.
Trust me, your attitude and personality are far more important than worries you have about your size/shape. Be proud of who you are and choose any of the summer fashions you like – wear them with pride.
Be interested in them
You spot someone attractive, get chatting, but how do you get over any shyness and nerves? The easiest way is to be interested in them – ask questions about what they’re up to, etc.
This ties in with one study finding that men are more attracted to women who seem interested in them. It’s their egos – they want your attention! Just make sure you also tell them about you. And don’t let them dominate the conversation. Especially as your confidence grows, ensure there is an equal balance between you two.
Beware the ‘unworthy complex’
Maybe things haven’t gone well with dating in the past. You feel a bit unworthy of finding love.
Identify such irrational thoughts. For instance, when you’re heading to meet people for drinks, do you tell yourself no one will be interested in you? Challenge this negative thinking. Tell yourself you have loads of good qualities, someone would be lucky to meet you.
Definitely keep looking online for love
50% of singles try dating sites and apps, or meet by flirting on social networks. So when you’re not saying yes to invitations, get your wingman to help you online with Wingman app.
An online dating fact from love-research: Men spend 50% less time reading a profile – so keep yours short and sweet.
If looking for more than a fling, say so. Those looking for the same will respond to that.
Finally, just have fun looking for love. When you’re having fun it’s a very attractive quality.
Sign up now with your wingman by downloading the Wingman app in the App store and Google Play store. Available in the US and UK for IOS and Android devices.
Follow Dr Pam Spurr on Twitter @drpamspurr and on Instagram @drpamspurr
For more advice, visit her website at www.drpam.co.uk
Check out Dr Pam’s podcast: https://bit.ly/2JFPjBU
View Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php
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Photo by Joel Mott on Unsplash
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Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash