Quiz: How strong is your sexual communication?

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Our relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (On Twitter & Instagram @drpamspurr) shares her quiz on what turning on the heat means to you.

You’d be surprised how quickly a very new relationship can come unstuck over issues in the bedroom. Sexual communication – how good you are or how poor you are at it – is often the key. With good sexual communication you can rescue a new relationship that has stumbled at the bedroom door.

Take my quick quiz but answers must be completely honest:

1)   It's a new thing, how do you feel asking for what you want in bed?

A. Very confident - if you don't ask you don't get

B. Sometimes confident - depends on the person and circumstances

C. Not confident - it's embarrassing asking for what I want

2)  Be honest, how often have you faked it? (NB men fake too!)

A. Never/rarely - better to make it work than fake it

B. Sometimes - feel embarrassed or I don't want to hurt their feelings

C. Loads of times - it's just easier to fake it

3) Things are getting a bit boring, how likely are you to suggest a new technique?

A. Very happy suggesting or just doing something new

B. If the mood’s right I'd suggest something new

C. I'd never suggest anything new

4. Should a long-term partner ‘know’ what you want?

A. No, none of us are mind-readers and preferences change

B. They should pretty much know

C. Of course they should know what I want 

5. Crikey, they’ve asked you about masturbation - how do you handle it?

A.   Happy to be honest with them

B.   I'd open up with encouragement

C.  I’d be mortified

6. How would you take it if they hinted you weren't doing something ‘right’ in bed?

A. I'd want to know if a technique isn't doing it for them

B. I'd be embarrassed if I didn't know them well

C. It'd completely knock my confidence

7. Their sex drive seems to have gone off the boil - how would you handle it?

A. I'd be tactful and begin with the basics – are they stressed, tired, etc.

B. I'd worry I wasn't turning them on

C. I'd be angry and find it hard to discuss 

8. What would your reaction be if they suggested a kinky role-play?

A. I'd be happy to consider their suggestions  

B. I'd feel nervous

C. I'd probably die of embarrassment

9. After sex do you usually feel -

A. Satisfied, it's been a good/great experience

B. It varies between feeling good and feeling disappointed

C. Dissatisfied – I’m often left feeling what's the point?

10. What approach would you take to sharing your sexual fantasies?

A. Definitely a red hot and sexy approach

B. With lots of encouragement I might share fantasies

C. I find it pretty impossible to open up about fantasies

Mainly AsSky high sexual communication –

You understand sexual relationships [flings or long-term] are complicated things needing openness, honesty and sensitivity and the willingness to sex-periment – so you have a fantastic starting point for communication. You know that sexual confidence and tact will make sure both of you are satisfied. Think through any of your ‘B’ & ‘C’ answers and look at the advice below.