Is your new age-gap relationship doomed?
Our relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (On Twitter & Instagram @drpamspurr) shares her thoughts on what to expect with an age gap relationship.
Age gap relationships have been all over social media with Gemma Owen having said she fancied Davide Sanclimenti on Love Island. Some people have been up in arms about her being 19 and not ready to fall for a 27 year old. I don’t think that’s a problem at all if you know what you’re getting into when you start dating someone of a different age.
The attraction in age gap relationships can be enormous. The older person seems wise and to have lots of life experience. The younger person offers energy and a new lease of life.
You can make an age gap relationship work despite the statistics saying they won’t. For instance, even five years between you can mean an 18% greater chance of a breakup. And the eight years between Gemma and Davide leads to a 25% greater chance of a breakup.
And it’s an eye watering 95% chance you’ll breakup if there is a 20 year gap between you!
So how can you make it work? Go in with eyes wide open and check out these tips:
*Be prepared for friends, family, workmates to have a range of reactions to your age gap
From joking about your age gap and teasing you, to downright being against it. To balance this negativity, you to have to prepare for it and show the world that you are aware of the challenges you’ll face as an age gap couple.
*Don’t sweep “baby talk” under the carpet!
One of the most significant issues you’ll face is whether or not to have children if you’re dating leads to you going the distance. The older one may already have children. Or might have fertility problems at this point in their life. Don’t underestimate how this can totally rock your loving feelings if you don’t address this.
*If either of you already have children, probably the old one, it’s important to understand how children might feel about the age gap. They might feel embarrassed if they’re younger and don’t really understand that you can still be in love with someone who is a very different age.
If they’re older children, they might be near in age to the younger partner. This happened in my first marriage where my two stepsons were much nearer in age to me than I was to my first husband.
Again, if you discuss how to handle their reactions you will be much better placed to be singing from the same hymn sheet. Showing a united front to them will show them that they have less to worry about your relationship.
*Your sex life is also something where there may be challenges. Although that hot honeymoon period means you both might be satisfied when first dating, after that, the older one may want less sex than the younger one.
If you talk about your sexual energy, desires and needs you will be able to find compromise.
Facing such challenges gives you a real head start on your ‘age gap dating’!
Good luck and happy dating, Pam x
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