How to help a shy date
Our relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (On Twitter & Instagram @drpamspurr) gives us her tips on how to help a nervous date.
If you’re single and dating then you are going to come across some shy singles. In the UK over 50% of people describe themselves as “shy” even if many try and cover-up their shyness and behave as if they’re more outgoing.
It feels scary for a shy person to finally meet for a first date. Even if you’ve been chatting for a while via a dating app, the real deal, in person, is daunting for someone who feels that way.
If they are an otherwise attractive, interesting person, who maybe shares the same interests you do, it’s worth giving a shy person a chance. Help them to shine. Because some of the shy people I have a date-coached over the years have been some of the most worthy singles I’ve ever met.
Here are five top tips to help them relax with you:
*First and foremost, help them relax by arriving feeling relaxed yourself. Give yourself plenty of time getting ready for the date so that you arrive ready to handle anything – like their shyness.
*They’ll be unlikely to kick the conversation off, so be ready to keep it simple and keep it chilled. You already know them a bit, you know what their interests are, so you can start by asking if they’ve been swimming that weekend (they keep fit by swimming). Starting with a topic they enjoy will help them to start relaxing.
*Be ready with another couple easy and relaxed topics like what film you’ve seen recently what drama you’re watching on TV. Again, it’s easy territory for them to talk about and help them come out their shyness-shell.
*Compliment them – but only if you actually mean it. People can see through fake compliments. But a genuine compliment can give someone a little lift and make them feel good about themselves. It can be a compliment about their taste in, for example, films, their outfit, anything that you like about them.
*Be ready if they get tongue-tied to be a little self-deprecating. Let them know about the time you got tongue-tied during a presentation or something like that. Showing real empathy for how they’re feeling will also boost their confidence.
Good luck and happy dating x
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