How To Avoid Getting Duped By A Tinder-Swindler

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Our relationship expert, Dr Pam Spurr (on Instagram and Twitter @drpamspurr) gives us her tips on how to swerve the con artists vying for your attention.

If you haven’t watched the Tinder Swindler on Netflix – and you’re single – it’s a must watch for anyone looking for love. Although known now as Simon Leviev, Shimon Hayut spun a dark web of deceit conning hundreds of thousands, maybe even millions of pounds from innocent singles. 

And if you are a man, don’t think you can’t be duped. You should definitely watch Inventing Anna!

Here are a few top tips to avoid being duped 

*If they seem ‘too good to be true’ when you start chatting online - or if you’ve met them face-to-face - then they probably are. Con artists like to create what they think your fantasy will be. They appear to be ‘perfect’ when it comes to your romantic feelings. They know all the buttons to push to get you excited about them.

*If they seem hesitant about introducing you to their friends, take it as a red flag. Con artists rarely invite you into their actual personal life. When it comes to the case of Simon Leviev, he did have his bodyguard and other people on his ‘team’, that the single women were introduced to. But that’s very rare.

*Watch out for pretty much unbelievable excuses when they go missing at times. Especially when it comes to online con artists, they’re usually talking to many singles at the same time. They juggle many potential ‘marks’. 

So, if they go on the missing list from time to time - plus you also haven’t met their friends - take this as a signal that something is wrong.

*They seem to really ‘get into’ your head. You may be swept off your feet because they seem to like everything you do. But such con artists are really good at it quickly identifying what you like, and what your interests are, and then feign interest in the same things.

*Out of nowhere they suddenly ask you if they can borrow some money. The reason why they will suddenly bring up needing money for something urgent, is because it throws you. You’re less likely to think through what they’re asking and say yes as it’s out of the blue. 

Deal with this in a straightforward way saying that you never lend money. Let’s face it, if they then cool things off, it’s a clear sign they’re not going to waste any more time on you.