Have You Fallen For A Love Pirate?

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Our relationship expert, Dr Pam Spurr (on Twitter & Instagram @drpamspurr) gives us her quiz to find out whether we've fallen for a non-committer or not.

Have you been caught out by a Love Pirate? They made you think they were falling in love then cut you dead? I've seen this love-phenomenon frequently. It's time you wised up to this type of person. They not only collect relationships, but loves to make you fall in love with them when they won't return it!

Is your new date a Love Pirate? 

The Love Pirate Checklist - how many boxes do they tick?

1. They bombarded me with flirtatious texts from the start                   YES                 NO

2. They hint they are in love with me but don't actually say it              YES                 NO

3. They give me OTT compliments that I know aren't true              YES                 NO

4. They are a bit evasive about what they are up to, when we’re not together

YES             NO

5. Right from the start they talked about "our future"                    YES                 NO

6. Straight off the bat, they've always wanted to see me every spare minute            

 YES                 NO

7. They always talk about me and my feelings and not their own             YES                 NO

8. They completely focus on me but changes focus very quickly, like if their mobile rings

YES                 NO

6-8 YES Answers - A Proper Blue Beard

They might be the one-in-a-million who’s genuinely fallen head over heels straight away. BUT just in case they aren't, be on your guard. Until now you've been bamboozled by their Love Pirate-speak - after all, the attention they've heaped on you is so different to what others have given you at first. Do the following particularly if you answered YES to questions 3, 4, 7, and 8:

  • Don't give your heart completely until you really know them.
  • Only go to bed with them if you’re happy with a purely sexual fling - you won't be disappointed if they dump you.
  • Start digging - get to know more about them. 
  • Don't allow them to keep turning conversations back to you.
  • Go out with their mates - you can tell loads from their behaviour around them, like if they're less affectionate to you.
  • Pull them up when they imply they're falling in love - ask what they really mean.
  • Watch out if they say they've been hurt badly. Love Piracy usually develops from two things: they've had their feelings crushed, they're now frightened of emotional intimacy, and determined to "pay back". Or they're narcissistic and loves the idea of falling in love - because it makes them feel good - but actually not good at giving genuine love.

3-5 YES Answers - Blue Beard’s Mate 

They may not be a full-blown Love Pirate but watch out for any behaviour that causes concern and use the advice above.

1-2 YES Answers – Occasional Plunderer

You might have a great person who’s keen and not a Love Pirate. It's still a good idea to read the advice above.

Originally posted on Dr Pam Spurr’s blog

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