What You’re Doing Wrong on Your Dating Profile (And How You Can Do it Right)
We’ve done a lot of dating, and a lot of dating means a lot of swiping. It also comes from being the hosts of an anonymous podcast about millennial sex, dating and relationships (Not Your Girlfriend’s Podcast). Dating app profiles are a necessary evil— but what makes a good profile? Here are our notes from bad profiles and some tips on how to finesse your online presence.
Don’t leave this blank— it tells people you’re too good for online dating. Even if you think you can get away with it because you’re super hot, you might be missing out on potential matches because they have nothing to connect with you on… other than your hotness. Take the opportunity to say something about yourself. But keep it brief. The only thing worse than a blank bio is a short novel on your life.
Where you’re from, where you’re living now, what you do for work, your favorite cocktail/food combo (looking for someone to drink margaritas and eat tacos with). Something short and sweet. If there are deal breakers or important info you would want someone you date to know (like if you’re in an open relationship or have kids), this is the time to state it.
Too Many Group Photos
Too many group photos, having your group photo as your first photo, you’re all wearing the same version of khakis and plaid shirts and I can’t tell you apart? The group photo is not explicitly a no— but there’s a fine line between a left or right swipe when it comes to them.
Make sure you are clearly identifiable in the group photo. Limit the number of people in the group to 3-4 tops. Don’t use a group photo as your first pic (or we have to guess which one you are, which doesn’t always work in your favor), and for god’s sake, make sure you’re the tallest (if you’re a guy, hit those angles and make them work for you. Upward tilt is your friend). Remember, the whole point of the picture is for YOU to look good, so even if you think a group shot shows your fun side, it also needs to be flattering.
For the ladies, same advice goes. Don’t use a photo of you and fifteen of your sorority sisters getting drunk at brunch, make sure you’re in the spotlight, and downward tilt is our friend. Also, probably don’t take a photo with your hottest friend. Which brings us to…
No Hot Friend Girls / No Hot Friend Boys
You’re probably not dumb enough to actually put a photo of you and your ex on your dating profile (which is an obvious no) but you might as well if you’re going to post a photo of you with an attractive person of the opposite sex (for straight dating). Ladies, no guy wants to see you sandwiched between your two guy friends, even if they’d your best friends from middle school. And lads—I have no idea if that hot girl is your sister.
Context is everything here and it’s best to avoid at all costs. Or you’ll be getting messaging like ‘this is weird, but I think your friend is cute-do you mind telling them?’ (guilty of actually sending a message like this)
Stop Hiking. Stop Fishing. Stop Watching The Office. Stop Quoting Fake Reviews.
This is going to probably hurt some of you, but you’re not different. The amount of profile clichés we see on guys’ profiles are dime a dozen. We really don’t know where this started or how… did one bro just show another bro his profile and think ‘oh yeah that’s super clever-I’ll do the same!’ I don’t really know.
Stop doing the dead fish pose. Trust when we say no women anywhere has ever looked at a photo of you and your dead fish and thought “wow he caught a big fish…you know what that means”. And we get the thought process behind the outdoorsy hiking picture, but you don’t need a whole slideshow of them (unless that’s literally what you do every weekend). Be aware that posting multiple photos doing the same thing could also potentially alienate matches. Like if you clearly love brunch but they hate getting up early, or if a guy loves rock climbing— does he need you to like rock climbing? If you’re really into something and it’s important that your match is, own it. Just remember your pictures should be an accurate representation of you.
The fake review: “‘Heart of Gold, Head full of Metal’ -Mom” or something like that is just awful too. It says that you don’t care to actually tell me something about yourself, and worse—you aren’t original. You don’t have the be "The Most Interesting Man in the World" but you don’t have to be the "Most Basic Bro in the World" either. It’s better to write something brief and authentic than a recycled cliche.
The Resting Gym/Bitch Face
Why so serious? Honestly you might think your eyebrows look on fleek or your pecks are popping but a non-smiling face isn’t very approachable.
Smiling, laughing, showing some teeth is attractive. Find some good quality candids, maybe from weddings or friends’ birthday parties. Or ask your nearest dearest friend to take a posed candid for you— we’ve all done it. Candids really show how you look and act and we love seeing a good candid that really captures someone’s personability.
Well, that’s a solid start. And if your profile already stayed clear of these and you’re wondering what else you could do to get right swipes? Luckily for you we have an entire podcast on that. Check out Not Your Girlfriend’s Podcast, available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Google Play with new episodes posted every Wednesday. And of course, good luck out there!
A podcast for millennials about sex, love and dating, listen to the Not Your Girlfriends podcast on:
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