Do you need drama in your life?

You’ve had a few dates and they seem to be just your sort of person. Then one day something goes wrong – in their life, at a restaurant you’re at, in their work, wherever – and they have an absolute fit about it. Where has all this drama come from you wonder?

Having worked with people for years I know that the drama queens and kings amongst us can keep things under wrap and calm for a certain length of time. But something happens, that triggers them, and off they go like a rocket.

Here are a few key things about drama queens and kings to help you know what to expect if you’ve started dating one. And if they have other good qualities that mean you want to stick it out for a time and that’s fair enough.

MS DRAMA QUEEN – Her headlines: Life’s never boring with her! She’s fiery and unpredictable. Maybe she grew up with lots of siblings and developed her dramatic side to get her share of the limelight. Or her parents over-indulged her - so she hasn’t developed much patience and overreact to things. Alternatively, it could be that one of her parents thrived on drama and she’s just used to relating to the world that way.

The Pros: *Lots of people go for women like this because they can seem exciting. *People don’t get bored with drama queens although they might end it for other reasons – like all the drama that happens in front of their friends. *Drama queens seem very good at flirting and give clear messages if they’re attracted to someone. And people like clear messages when there dating. 

The Cons: *Drama queens take things to heart and can overreact before clarifying situations. Including they’ll take things to heart like having bad service at a restaurant when actually they just need to let the restaurant know where they have fallen short. *They’ll have big bust ups but equally big make-ups with partners (and friends!). *They can be a bit wild and end up regretting some of their behaviour on dates.

Let’s take a look at the drama kings…

MR DRAMA KING - Their headlines: The male equivalent to the Drama Queen is just as lively and feisty. People realise quite soon that they don’t get bored in his company. He might’ve grown up in a family with lots of drama and he brings it to the dating scene. 

His First Move: Drama kings are not shy at coming forward and his first move may be a ridiculous chat up line or something to grab your attention.

The Pros: *They can be exciting because you’re never quite sure how an evening will pan out. *They’re very passionate, including in bed. *They know how to have fun (before the drama) and often have a good social network.

It’s up to you if you decide to stick it out and try and create a smoother vibe between you. That means setting your boundaries very quickly on their dramatic behaviour. Spell out to them that you did not like the way they had a hissy fit with the waiter. Have a conversation with them about whether they’ve thought about the things that trigger them and how to develop more positive ways of dealing with triggers.

All you can do is have that sort of chat with them but they have to instigate a new set of behaviours. Ultimately, when their behaviour is out of control, you’re in control and can decide to leave them and their drama behind.

Finally, if they’re taking up their drama on you then they’re definitely a waste of your time!

Good luck, Pam x

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