Dating at work: The Do's and Don'ts
Our relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (On Twitter & Instagram @drpamspurr) talks us through the perils of office romance.
Prior to about five years ago, dating surveys repeatedly found that people met the person they started dating – in over a third of occasions - at work. This has altered due to the popularity of online dating but it is still fairly common, with a survey from a couple years ago saying about 25% of people still met a date at work.
This is an area mired in complications, especially if a workplace bans workplace romances. In my work, I’ve heard from plenty of people who have had to sneak around at work after meeting their “true love” by the coffee machine.
There are many other complications so here are a few dos and don’ts if you meet someone special at work:
· For starters, do familiarise yourself with your workplace policy if you haven’t already. Some contracts state this quite clearly.
· Let’s say you’ve been flirting by the coffee machine, that could be a good sign if you are attracted to them. But go forward with caution. Maybe they are simply a flirt. Maybe they like to flirt with you but don’t want to take it any further. Go slowly is always the best way forward.
· If you established that they are definitely attracted to you, keep it casual and suggest meeting out of work for a coffee or drink. Baby steps forward!
· If things start happening between you, keep it out of your workplace. You might love the fact that you two are loved up. However, colleagues might get a bit fed up of you to flirting in every corner of the office. Keeping a professional is absolutely crucial.
· Agree ground rules about keeping it professional. Especially, if one of you is more senior, you need to make sure that your romantic interest does not affect how you interact with each other. Even if you are equal in standing where you work, you still need to agree ground rules about how you behave in a variety of potential situations.
· If it’s ‘the boss’ you’ve fallen for, you really have to tread carefully. It might be that you agree to keep it a 100% discreet so that nobody knows you two are seeing each other outside of work. This dynamic has a potential for so many problems.
Good luck, stick to the rules, and happy dating x
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