Don’t Panic About Valentine’s Anxiety!
Our relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (On Twitter & Instagram @drpamspurr) shares her tips this Valentines Day.
Did you start seeing someone in the pre-Christmas window and now the pre-Valentine's window is causing you to panic? That's totally understandable because one survey of singles found that if you've only been together for the last month or two, you're likely to get Valentine's anxiety.
This is that feeling of dread about if you should mention Valentine's to that very new partner. Go back 1700 years to the time of Saint Valentine and I think he'd tell you to go for a little bit of fun and romance on the big day because life can be short.
Here are top tips for figuring out February 14th:
* Do you love romantic gestures and have always made them when you're in a relationship at this time of year? Make that your starting point. Think about this new person and if they seem to enjoy a little romance or not.
Let that guide you with any plans. If they are kind and loving but not particularly romantic, then make your gesture a small one. This won't freak them out and might encourage a little romance out of them.
Obviously if they seem very romantic then you can pull out the stops with a gift and/or something like a romantic walk over Valentine's weekend. Or maybe visit to a lovely old pub or cook something special.
* How do you see your fledging relationship? Have you met IRL? Or are you still just chatting on messaging services? Does it seem like you two are exclusive now? This should help you decide what you say about Valentine's Day. Because if you've not actually met at this point you should probably keep it low key unless they say something to the contrary.
* Do you find them to be good at communicating their emotions? This is a great sign that you can talk to them before the big day, in the coming week, about their feelings about Valentine’s day.
Keep it light and upbeat. Say something simple like: “What do you think about Valentine's? Should we do something that weekend?”
Using the old fashioned ‘c’ word – communication - is crucial especially if you like this person. It's important to start communicating in a healthy manner with them now.
* Finally, thinking ahead, there could be a lot of tension in the future if you feel things like Valentine's are critically important to a relationship and if they feel it's all a load of commercial nonsense. Some couples manage such differences well but other couples find it becomes an increasing hurdle to the health of their relationship.
Good luck and happy dating! x
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Follow Dr Pam on Twitter and Instagram @drpamspurr and at drpam.co.uk
If there are any little ones in your life, Dr Pam’s first children’s story book is out now: http://tinyurl.com/36y3xr6n
