Beware of Monkey-Barring
Our relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (On Twitter @drpamspurr) shares her thoughts on the new trending dating term.
Just when you think you're up to speed with all the new dating terms along comes so-called ‘monkey-barring’. This is when a single man or woman moves from dating-connection to dating-connection - and just like on monkey bars - they only let go of the most recent relationship once a new one is completely secured.
I use ‘relationship’ lightly. Because monkey-barrers often form quick pseudo-type, shallow relationships with another single before swinging on to the next.
This can be a tough behaviour to recognise. However, here are a few top tips for you to help you identify someone who's using you as one bar on their entire set of monkey bars:
* Do they seem to be evasive about recent relationships? For instance, after a couple of dates it's quite natural to talk about recent dating experiences. Especially the failures! But do you find they keep quiet about their recent dating?
This may signify they are hesitant to mention just how many people they have been involved with and it may be a string of people because they are monkey-barring.
* Or maybe you find the opposite, and he or she seems quite happy to talk about lots of short-lived relationships. They might not even realise that they swing from one person to the next very easily. Or they might realise they do that but they're keeping quiet about the fact that they might already have their eye on someone else on a dating app or in person.
* A key sign that they might be monkey-barring is that they seem to fall for you easily but then you notice changes in their behaviour. It can feel like they're withdrawing slightly or As if they’re having second thoughts. This may well mean they're lining up the next person to swing to on the monkey-bars of their dating life.
Obviously, unless you have access to their messaging and dating profile, you won't have definitive proof. It's a good idea, though, to keep your eyes open if these key points seem relevant to them.
Good luck and happy dating x
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Follow Dr Pam on Twitter @drpamspurr and at drpam.co.uk
If there are any little ones in your life, Dr Pam’s first children’s story book is out now: http://tinyurl.com/36y3xr6n
