Beware of banter that's too good to be real

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Our relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (On Twitter & Instagram @drpamspurr) shares her best tips on how to let the conversation flow.

Online dating is fantastic! Especially if you have your wingman on board to guide you through.

But I want to flag up a problem that has surfaced in recent years about the messaging you do with that new person you have high hopes for.

This is something people are NOT thinking about with their online communication before you meet face-to-face. Or have that first face-to-face on FaceTime, WhatsApp, etc.

Here’s the scenario: You’re both interested and you have started messaging. You want to put your best banter forward, so to speak, so with every reply you try and be funny, witty or clever.

It’s fantastic! You’ve got the banter of a stand-up comic! They love messaging with you and may even compliment you on your chat. 

But here’s the problem – you’ve always have a moment – or much longer – to think about a funny reply. You take those opportunities and you think through a number of possible replies until you hit on the best one.