Are They a "Definitely...Maybe" Kind of Person?
Our relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (On Twitter & Instagram @drpamspurr) shares her advice on how to deal with an undecisive partner.
Oasis has been trending on and off since they announced their reunion recently. It reminded me that I had once told a date-coaching client that the person they had started seeing was a ‘definitely maybe’ kind of person. That instantly resonated with them.
A ‘definitely maybe’ kind of date isn’t a commitment-phobe as such, but they probably have some personal weaknesses, anxieties or issues when it comes to aspects of dating.
Some signs to watch out for include:
*You suggest something for your next date but he/she (women do this too) says they need to think about it. And it’s not as if you’re suggesting a weekend break in Paris! It could just be something like bowling or dancing or visiting an exhibition, that may well take them out of their comfort zone.
*They say you can meet their friends “sometime soon” but then they never suggest a time and place. Ditto, when you ask if they would like to meet your friends, they say “definitely” but then never seem able to make the time and place you suggest.
Again, this might be because they feel uncomfortable mixing different groups together. Rather than the classic commitment-phobe who never has any intention of you mixing with their personal friends.
*This hesitancy can cut right across your dating. Even when it comes to the first time it looks like you might have sex. They seem to put it off or make excuses. They may just want the timing to be perfect but it can be frustrating if you’re ready.
*They’re going home for a family weekend and say things like maybe sometime you can come. Definitely don’t count on it for some time to come!
Signs like these can flag up future difficulties if you can’t pin them down. As I’ve said in many of my Wingman columns, only you can decide if you want to see if this “maybe” turns out to “definitely” be your man or woman!
Good luck and happy dating, Pam x
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