8 Tips To Become More Dateable.

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Dr Pam Spurr breaks down the qualities that we should look for in ourselves before embarking on our dating journey.

There are those who breeze through dating easily but it’s not a magic secret as to why they manage this. They’re quite simply ‘date-able’ unlike others who are ‘difficult to date’ and things fall apart quickly after one or two dates. That’s so demoralising when you liked that person. 

Here are some tips to be more ‘date-able’

Dateable Quality No. 1: BE PREPARED 

You need to be prepared with meeting people online so that when someone shows interest – and they look interesting – you’re ready to say hello and enjoy some online chat. Trust me, people get flustered about having the right ‘banter’ online. It’s just like if you meet someone in real life, be ready to ask them simple things like what they’re watching, what music they’re listening to, etc.

Dateable Quality No. 2: BELIEVE IN YOU 

When we get back to so-called normal dating – going out instead of staying shut away – be aware of your body language. Think about this: you know when you look at someone and you think they look shy or anxious, etc.? You make that judgement because of their body language. 

It’s the same with you. If you go out thinking you’ll never meet someone, no one’s going to be interested, people ‘read’ that in your body language. 

As you go out, hold in mind three reasons why they’d be lucky to date you – your good sense of humour, you’re a loyal person, you like to seize opportunities, etc. That will immediately pull up your body language into something confident.

Dateable Quality No. 3: YOUR VIBE 

A step on from believing in yourself – and your body language looking like you mean it – is thinking about your vibe - is it over-keen or intense? That makes others feel uneasy. Or is it laid back and maybe appears disinterested? The balance you want to strike is friendly, a bit flirty and interested in them. 

Dateable Quality No. 4: CREATE A COMFORT ZONE 

Creating a comfort zone around you means taking the anxiety out of you - and them - when you meet up (hopefully singles will be meeting up soon enough once the virus is under control!). Even if it's a virtual date, making a comfort zone before you begin the call, will avoid you ending in a state of nerves or 35 minutes late because you hadn’t got yourself sorted, etc. 


If you’re stuck indoors then make the most of discovering new hobbies you can do online or by ordering things for to be delivered. Taking up a language, drawing or painting, etc., means you can then find online communities with the same interests. Of course, when things get back to normal you can go to hobby groups in person – that wine tasting or art class may have some interesting singles in them.

Dateable Quality No. 6: LOOK FOR FUN 

Go out/online looking for the ‘love of your life’, your ‘soul-mate’, and your future ‘baby-daddy’ or ‘baby-mummy’, and you might come across as desperate. Instead, go out/online looking for fun (and by ‘fun’ I don't necessarily mean sex. Although you may be looking for sex, too!) and you’ll look date-able. You might want a permanent relationship! And you should make that clear fairly early on so you don’t waste your time. But not the minute you start chatting. It can be a bit daunting to the other even if they’re looking for ‘the one’ too.

Dateable Quality No. 7: REJECTION ISN’T FAILURE

If you’re taking rejection as a failure you must adopt a new attitude. We've all been turned down! The worst thing you can do is take it to heart. There could be a hundred reasons why they didn’t want to video chat/meet up – they’re just out of a relationship, working super-hard or you simply aren't their type, etc. 

Turn the tables on your thinking - you've undoubtedly turned someone down because of any number of reasons and it didn't make them a sad reject. Hold on to what you see as rejections and it’ll affect how you relate to the next single you meet. Let it go and it won’t affect your date-ability.

Dateable Quality No. 8: YOUR ROMANTIC CHECKLIST 

What’s on your checklist? The things that a man or woman supposedly must have before you’d date them. Is it as long as your arm? By all means keep things on your list like ‘they must have a GSOH’ and ‘they must be respectful’ but dump the frivolous and shallow things like they must have a specific hair colour or height. 

ign up now with your wingman by downloading the Wingman app in the App store and Google Play store. Available in the US and UK for IOS and Android devices.

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