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7 things to do when that summer fling ends

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7 things to do when that summer fling ends

Our relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (On Twitter & Instagram @drpamspurr) shares her tips on how to let go of that summer fling.


Deep down did you think your summer fling was turning into more? It was intense, passionate and seemed perfect. But he/she hasn't called since you last said goodbye. 

Whether it was getting intimate in Ibiza, or super-sexy in Scotland, it's tough to accept when it promised so much more. Especially if you’d been single for quite some time and then this came along and it seemed like your luck was changing. 

Try these seven steps to help you put that holiday romance behind you:

1/ Accept Their Reality

They might’ve thought you were fantastic and they seemed so into you, so why have they gone silent? The fact is from one person, to another, they see holiday flings in a different light to how you might. Their reality was this: they had loads of fun, great sex, and now they’re back into their real life. The summer fling with you is done and dusted - and they’re ready to move on. Accepting this will help you see it's nothing personal.

2/ Dump the Rose-Coloured Specs

They were fun, maybe good-looking too, but it’s time to be honest with yourself. You met on a beach - they live in the North, you live in the South - would a long distance relationship have been much fun? Wouldn't it have lost its sparkle soon enough? You can stay stuck in the past thinking it was the real thing - or you can dump those rose coloured specs and accept it was only a summer thing.

3/ Get a Lift from Friends

It's definitely the time to rely on your friends. Hopefully you feel you can talk to them about the fling ending. Undoubtedly, they’ll do and say the right things. Friends are for life - whereas he or she was just there for a week or two in the summer!

4/ Don't Give off Stalker-vibes

You have their number plus you know where they are on social media - but don’t go there! It’s not a good look to keep contacting them to try and convince them this was more than a summer fling. Bow out with your pride intact rather than acting like a potential stalker.

5/ Treat This As A Love-Lesson 

It can be beneficial to future relationships to learn from your hurt feelings. Think things through - did you maybe give your heart away too quickly? Did you get carried away with the passion? 

Maybe you won't give your heart away so quickly next time around. Or maybe you’ll go into your next relationship with your eyes wide open. It’s important in future to take your time, if they’re worth it they will wait.

6/ Believe Your Own Hype

This is a great time to fight any thoughts that they treated it only as a fling because they didn’t see you as proper relationship material. Remind yourself that you could be the most fabulous girlfriend or boyfriend but they just wanted some summer fun. Tell yourself, you will find someone worthy – of you - in the future.

7/ Time for Having Fun 

As you pack your feelings for them away - along with your summer things - you'll start to feel better. Now is the time to simply get out there with a positive attitude and who knows how soon you might find someone to keep you warm over the grey autumn and the cold winter to come.

Good luck and happy dating, Pam x

Sign up now with your wingman by downloading the Wingman app in the App store and Google Play store. Available in the US and UK for IOS and Android devices.

Follow Dr Pam on Twitter and Instagram @drpamspurr and at drpam.co.uk

If there are any little ones in your life, Dr Pam’s first children’s story book is out now: http://tinyurl.com/36y3xr6n

Photo by Mayur Gala on Unsplash

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

Photo by Hannah Olinger on Unsplash


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