7 possible signs you're dating a sociopath
Our relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (On Twitter & Instagram @drpamspurr) breaks down the signs you need to lookout for.
Have you had an experience with a man or woman that left you reeling with questions and also with self-doubt? You think to yourself: they were so into me at first, then things got weird. They became unreliable, they hurt me without realising it, plus there was so much drama!
It might be the case you were dating a sociopath. When someone asks me what one is, I mention the Max Branning character in EastEnders (let’s hope they bring him back, he is one fantastic character).
You see, Max could be as charming as Prince Charming! But that charm was only to gain what he wanted, to the cost of all who crossed his path. His own childrens’ needs come a distant second to his needs.
He could have won an Olympic medal for lying without even drawing breath. Because sociopaths lie and cheat as easily as you and I breathe.
They just don’t feel remorse if they’ve hurt someone or let them down. I like to say that sociopaths have a few key ‘tools’ missing from the emotional toolbox that the rest of us have.
It’s hard to pin down the statistics and they vary from 1% of the population to 4% depending on the study. But those stats mean singles are likely to come across one.
Here are seven key signs to watch for:
*Excuses, excuses – Even if you manage to catch them lying, they’ve a way of ‘massaging’ things so they come out looking okay. They have an excuse for everything.
*Unreliability is their middle name – At the beginning of dating they may be on time. But very swiftly they start letting you down. You get annoyed with their unreliability and they swear they’ll change. Don’t hold your breath.
*They come on strong – Sociopaths literally charm the pants off you. Their focus is very good – and if they want you – they’re totally focused on you. This can be extremely flattering but short lived. Wait until they’re bored and their attitude changes very quickly.
*They seem to make a lot of mistakes – As you get to know them, you notice they make a lot of mistakes, and they don’t seem to learn from these. There’s often drama around them but it’s the other person’s fault. They swear how ‘bad’ that person is, how useless they are and why that person is to blame.
*They seem exciting – Sociopaths are risktakers - sometimes it’s exciting and other times you think they’re exercising bad judgement. It’s easy to get drawn into the excitement and buzz they can generate.
*They do things at the expense of others – While they’re into you - when you’re first dating - you may not personally be harmed by them. However, you might notice they’ve little regard for other people. They just don’t seem to care if they’ve upset others. They might even laugh at other’s misfortunes.
*They accuse you of being paranoid – They’ll turn the tables on you when you catch them in one too many lies. They are very good at gas lighting and will say things like you’re paranoid. They make you feel you’re in the wrong.
Protect yourself by listening to your intuition! When it tells you this new person doesn’t stack up, pay attention, otherwise you’ll get caught out by their selfish, scheming sociopathic ways.
Good luck, Pam x
Sign up now with your wingman by downloading the Wingman app in the App store and Google Play store. Available in the US and UK for IOS and Android devices.
Follow Dr Pam on Twitter and Instagram @drpamspurr and at drpam.co.uk
Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php
