6 Steps for summer love success
Our relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (On Twitter & Instagram @drpamspurr) shows us 6 ways we can find love this summer.
Do you love being single and the thought of someone tagged onto your life is so ho-hum? Summer might be a blast for you because one survey found that 70% of those who want to stay single, had the most no-strings fun at this time of year.
But equally true, if you’re looking for love and commitment, summer gives you loads of opportunities too. Another survey found 2/3s of couples met at this time of year. This is great news as it usually there are lots of opportunities for meeting other singles in the summer.
You simply need to spend the rest of the summer with the right mind-set.
Here are six steps for ‘summer-love’ success:
Become a ‘yes person’…for the right reasons!
A lot of people feel like their life has ground to a halt. Right now is the time to get your wonderful single-self out there. Say ‘yes’ to every invitation – from going as someone’s plus-1 to a summer party, to drinks and barbecues.
It’s too easy to say, “I’m fed up being the only single at events.” When there may well be other singles at these events, so no excuses.
Be yourself – but your best possible self
You said ‘yes’ to that invite and you’re heading to the pub where people are meeting. Don’t feel pressure to be someone you’re not. One study found both men and women are super quick at spotting someone who is being fake.
If you meet an interesting person and they start talking about their favourite hobby don’t pretend it’s your favourite too. You can be interested in it but be honest that you don’t spend every weekend up a climbing wall (or whatever their hobby is) when you don’t. Share with them the things you really like doing.
Dump the body image worries
There are many lovely - but also skimpier - summer fashion choices for both men and women. This can be tricky for those people with body image worries. They don’t want to feel less covered up. And don’t believe this only worries women! Plenty of men say they hate wearing shorts because of their legs.
Trust me, your attitude and personality are far more important than worries you have about your size/shape. Be proud of who you are and choose any of the summer fashions you like – wear them with pride.
Be interested in them
You spot someone attractive and get chatting, but how do you get over any shyness and nerves? The easiest way is be interested in them – ask questions about what they’re up to, etc.
This ties in with one study finding that men are more attracted to women who seem interested in them. It’s their egos – they want your attention! But this can also happen in same-sex attracted couples where one person dominates from the start.
Ensure you also tell them about you. And don’t let them dominate things. As your confidence grows you will find it easier to ensure there is an equal balance between you.
Beware of the ‘unworthy complex’
Maybe things haven’t gone well with dating in the past. You feel a bit unworthy of finding love.
Identify such irrational thoughts. For instance, when you’re heading to meet people for drinks, do you tell yourself, e.g., no one will be interested in you? Challenge this negative thinking. Tell yourself you have loads of good qualities, someone would be lucky to meet you.
Definitely keep looking online for love
60% of singles try dating sites and apps, or meet by flirting on social networks. When you’re not saying ‘yes’ to invitations, get your wingman to help you get online with the Wingman app.
If looking for more than a summer fling, say so. Those looking for the same will respond to that.
Finally, just have fun! When you’re having fun it’s a very attractive quality.
Sign up now with your wingman by downloading the Wingman app in the App store and Google Play store. Available in the US and UK for IOS and Android devices.
Follow Dr Pam on Twitter and Instagram @drpamspurr and at drpam.co.uk
Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php
