6 Steps For Fantasy Fun During Lockdown.

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Our relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr breaks down her top tips on how to make the most of lockdown together.

Whether you've recently started dating or in a relationship for a while, nothing shakes up your sex life like a little bit of fantasy play. And if you’ve met online during lockdown – and things are steaming up– you can enjoy fantasising together about what it will be like when you finally meet up.

For those of you living together, here are some fun steps to liven things up during these long hours locked down:

*Let’s start with the most basic fantasy-play rule – be aware of your partner’s feelings.

He shouldn’t describe a fantasy featuring his favourite film star and that she asks him over for a ‘private’ screening. She shouldn’t describe how her favourite rock star singles her out at one of his concerts to come backstage for saucy banter-and-more. So there are no hurt feelings, put your partner centre-stage in the action!

*You can give each other ‘permission’ to describe your secret fantasy scenarios.

Couching it in the terms that you both have permission helps a shy partner open up. Build in lots of detail so your partner gets a really exciting image. For example, as a man you could describe being the handsome gardener at the local park. Describe how you spot your partner having a stroll. Tell her the cheeky chat-up lines you’d use to flirt with her. Then describe leading her to the tool-shed, locking the door behind you two, and having fun with the ‘tool’ that counts. 

*It’s fun to take turns filling in the detail of a fantasy scenario. 

When you’re cuddling she could suggest she pretends to be the riding school mistress and he’s in charge of the grounds (there’s a garden theme in this blog post for you!). Describe how one day she gets the courage to flirt with him. He then picks up the storyline and says how he’d take her into the stable block for ‘horseplay’. 

One sexology study found that those partners who get playful with each other about fantasies have much more satisfying sex lives.

*It’s important to be open-minded about what your partners describing.

It’s just a fantasy after all. Listen to what turns her or him on. For instance, police and firemen fantasies are top of many women’s lists but it doesn’t mean they have a rescue complex. It can mean the opposite where she might want her partner to pretend to be a foxy fire chief but she does all the seducing.

*Definitely change up the themes because there are so many possibilities. 

Both of you might be into Fifty Shades type fantasies. But don’t always pretend she’s the demanding dominatrix. He can be put in charge. For instance, you might discuss a fantasy where he spots her at a fetish club or he’s the manager at work who makes her do his bidding.

*Buckle up for extra playfulness.

Fantasy chat can be a fantastic way to help you experiment with things like sex toys. One survey found two thirds of men are still unsure about the pleasure toys can give. She can put her favourite vibrator square in the middle of a fantasy. And he can pretend to be a clueless guy who ventures into an adult shop. She’s the shop proprietor who takes him into the back room for a personal demonstration.

It’s so easy, isn’t it? You can turn practically anything into a fantasy, so enjoy broadening out your sex play.

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Photo credit: @yuferushka via Twenty20

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