4 Tips You Need To Know Before Dating
Our relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (On Twitter & Instagram @drpamspurr) takes us back to basics when you're ready to find love.
There’s so much chatter in the world of dating about things like “kitten fishing” (telling little white lies to help catch a date) and “cushioning” (you’re dating someone but not totally exclusively and you have some other romantic “cushions” to pad things out if it doesn’t work).
Sometimes it feels like all these get in the way of the basics of dating. Here are four top tips that will help you make the most of dating:
*Believe in you – I never get tired of saying in my columns about how you must build your self-belief to get the most out single life and looking for love. Begin to build your ‘SB’ by thinking about the three reasons why you’re a ‘catch’. Really believe what friends and family tell you about your best qualities. And make it a daily practice to remind yourself of those qualities.
Because we all know what it’s like to look across a room and judge that they don’t think much of themselves. That’s because we read their body language that looks anxious and closed down. Basically they’re telling the world “don’t approach me!” Hold that in mind as an example of how not to be when you’re out and about.
*Learn from your past – Made mistakes in the past? Maybe you were overly keen about someone you were really attracted to. That led to them backing off because it was just too much. You do not have to play games and be standoffish! But you do have to think about past mistakes, think how you can do things differently and put that into action.
*Listen to your intuition – This is something that people don’t do! They get a bad/off vibe from someone they’re chatting to online, or have met through work or at a bar, but they don’t listen to what their intuition is saying. They tell themselves to give that person another chance. They make excuses like: “they’re having an off day”. Be aware of how much you’re excusing second rate behaviour when you should just move on.
*Widen your circle of opportunity – Going to the same places and seeing the same faces? No surprise that you haven’t met anyone new! Time to break free and check out some new places. Also say “yes” to those random opportunities that sometimes you feel too tired for. That friend at work asks you to grab a drink after work? Go ahead, you never know what might happen. You might meet someone interesting when you just sitting there having a drink. By widening your circle of opportunity, you bring more people into your life and one might be potentially the love of your life.
Good luck and happy dating, Pam x
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