Is your new partner too controlling?
Our relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (On Twitter & Instagram @drpamspurr) shares the signs to look out for in your partner.
We all think we can identify a controlling person but sometimes they start controlling you by stealth. If you’ve been single awhile, and you’ve met someone new, it’s easy to overlook how this might happen.
Most of us expect the best from the new person we are seeing. Sadly, we have to deal with the real world - where every single person you meet is not necessarily a nice person! And not the ideal world - where every single you meet is going to treat you well.
Here are some signs they may be controlling you by stealth:
*They act like they have high standards and expect you to also have high standards. So, they might suggest that you dress up more for the venue they have chosen for your date. Trust me, this goes both ways - with both sexes - because some women can be too controlling too.
*They make, not quite rude, remarks about some of your choices but slightly “if-y” remarks. These ‘if-y’ remarks that make you question your choices.
*They’ve met a few of your friends. But now they don’t seem to like one of your friends. They’ve singled that person out for something resembling ridicule. This can be the first act of a controlling person to start separating you from your friends.
*You say you really want to see something, or go somewhere in particular, but they always manage to get you to go where they want to go.
*You to make plans for something. Then something goes a bit awry with your plans and they do not take it very well. Increasingly you notice that things have to be just right and just the way they’ve planned them.
*If you challenge them about these sorts of things, they’ll tell you that they are simply a bit on the “choosy” side. They make it sound like they only have yours and their interests at heart.
If you notice these and other similar types of behaviour make sure you set your boundaries quickly. For instance, they have had their way with everywhere you’ve gone recently. Make it clear that this time you’re going to choose where you to go.
If by setting your boundaries, and making such points, they don’t seem to change then it may be time to leave them behind.
Good luck and happy dating x
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Follow Dr Pam on Twitter and Instagram @drpamspurr and at drpam.co.uk
Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php
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Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
